If you’ve ever sat down against a lower-rated opponent then you’ve probably felt it before: that little voice in your head whispering “I should win this game.” On the surface, it feels harmless and maybe even motivating. After all, if you’re the higher-rated player, isn’t winning what’s supposed to happen? But here’s the paradox: the moment you bring should into the equation, you’ve planted the seed for tilt and frustration. Because chess doesn’t care about your rating, your preparation or your expectations. Chess only cares about the moves on the board.
Last week I wrote about how masters consistently beat lower-rated players by sticking to sound, principled play. But there’s a hidden mental side to that success too. They’re not walking around with the mindset of “I should crush this person.” They’re thinking: “What’s the best move here?” That subtle shift makes all the difference.
“Should” is an anchor that ties your emotions to the outcome rather than the process. I should win this game. I should be rated higher than I am right now. I should have seen that tactic. Notice what happens when reality doesn’t align with those expectations. You blunder against a 300-point lower-rated opponent. Instead of calmly adjusting, you spiral: This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’m better than this. Why do I always blow games like this? Now you’re not just playing against your opponent. Instead, you’re playing against the ghost of what “should” have been. And more often than not, that ghost is the one that beats you.
Think back to a time when you were paired against someone hundreds of points below you. Before the first move, you might have already started thinking ahead to the next round. Maybe you relaxed a little too much or played an opening you hadn’t fully studied because, well, you should win anyway. Then suddenly, you’re worse. Maybe even losing. Panic sets in. That expectation of an easy win turns into pressure and that pressure turns into mistakes. By the end of the game, you’re sitting there with your head in your hands, wondering how it all slipped away. And the worst part? You don’t just lose the game but you also lose confidence. All because of a word.
But the danger of “should” doesn’t stop with lower-rated opponents. It also creeps in when you face someone stronger. Have you ever sat across from a higher-rated player and thought, “I shouldn’t win this game”? Maybe you lowered your expectations before the first move was even played. That single thought can lead to passive play, rushed decisions or avoiding complications because you “shouldn’t” be able to calculate as well as they can.
Instead of playing your normal game, you unconsciously hand over the advantage. You start making second-best moves because you’re already telling yourself the story of defeat. And if you do get a good position, the mindset of “I shouldn’t be winning here” can sabotage you just as much as entitlement does against weaker players. You stop trusting your calculation and look for ghosts that aren’t there, as if waiting for the higher-rated player to magically outplay you.
In both directions, higher or lower, “should” becomes a trap. Against weaker opponents, it breeds entitlement and tilt. Against stronger opponents, it breeds fear and passivity.
So how do we break the habit of thinking in ‘shoulds’? The answer is deceptively simple: replace “I should win this game” with “I will try to make the best move every turn.” This process-oriented mindset does a few powerful things. First, it removes entitlement. You’re no longer guaranteed victory because of rating or reputation. You have to earn it, one move at a time. Second, it reduces tilt. If your goal is to find good moves, then even when you make mistakes, you can recover by asking the same question: What’s the best move now? You don’t waste energy fighting expectations. Third, it keeps you grounded. Ratings and titles fade into the background. What matters is the position in front of you, not who “should” be winning it.
Next time you catch yourself slipping into expectation (“I should be crushing this player by now”) use it as a cue. Pause. Take a breath. Then ask the stabilizing question: What does the position need right now? Not: What do I deserve? Not: How is this supposed to go? But: What is the best move I can find here? That one question can save you from spiraling. It’s a mental reset button.
Here’s the irony: the less you cling to expectations, the more consistently you’ll actually beat lower-rated players. Why? Because you’re no longer distracted by the story in your head about what “should” happen. You’re free to focus fully on the moves, the ideas, and the flow of the game. And when you play the board rather than the opponent (or worse, the ghost of expectation) you’re at your strongest.
Chess has a way of humbling anyone who thinks they’re entitled to victory. The board doesn’t care what “should” happen. It only reflects what does happen. So the next time you’re paired against someone you “should” or “shouldn’t” beat, remove the word from your vocabulary. Instead, carry this mindset into the game: I’ll make the best move I can, every move I get. Do that consistently and not only will you start winning more games but you’ll also protect yourself from the tilt and frustration that come with misplaced expectations. In the end, the only thing that matters in chess is giving your full attention to the board and solving the problems you face one move at a time.
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